BREAK GLASS IN CASE OF EMERGENCY EXORCISM

August 24, 2013

Demons, man. They creep me out.

My reviews of “The Conjuring” have gone viral. It’s a wonderfully-crafted horror movie that fulfills its scare tactics function with aplomb. Best viewed in the dark! With popcorn!

the-conjuring-headlist

The demon is here. Probably the most well-paced horror movie I’ve seen in the last two years, this tale of a haunting on a family in Rhode Island is pure scare tactics cooked to perfection.

Told from the point of view of real-life ghostbusters Ed (Patrick Wilson) and Lorraine Warren (Vera Farmiga), this movie has the whole “based on a true story” tag going for it as the couple comes to the rescue of supernaturally beleaguered Perron family.

They’re experiencing increasingly disturbing events at their newly-bought home in Harrisville. It all started in 1971 when Roger and Carolyn Perron (Ron Livingston and Lili Taylor) finally move into a dilapidated old farmhouse with their five daughters.

On the first day, they’re in high spirits and their attempts at settling in go smoothly. The next day, their dog, Sadie, is found dead outside and one of the daughters finds a boarded up entrance to a cellar.

After that, the infernal shit hits the fan and intensifies into a demonic typhoon.

Grab some popcorn and make sure you take a piss before you sit down if you’re seeing this in the theaters. If you’re watching it at home, though, I highly recommend that you turn off the lights. Oh, and beware of the claps.

See more over at 8LIST. 

Movie review: Adventures in demon-busting in ‘The Conjuring’

What you’re looking for in a horror movie is, essentially, lightning in a bottle.

The tropes and genre conventions are there because they work. But in this, as in everything, timing is key and the cliché only becomes shackling when uncreative minds use the formula as if the formula is all there is. May the Cenobites, bless their flayed skins, feast on their souls.

What I’m talking about is that volatile mix of misdirection, atmosphere, and pacing. But mostly the first. The soothing of the audience, lulling it into a false sense of relaxation, and then, when everything’s hushed, bam! You go for the kill.

There’s a scene in “The Conjuring” within the 15-minute mark that scared the bejeezus out of my friend so much that he declared, “I wish I’d pissed before I sat down.” So, in consideration of those with excitable bladders, kindly do your business during the trailers.

For the faint of heart and those terrified of demons: skip this movie altogether.

It’s 1971 and Carolyn (Lili Taylor) and Roger Perron (Ron Livingston) have just bought a great old property in Harrisville, Rhode Island. They’ve moved their family of five daughters to this dilapidated farmhouse for a fresh start.

Things take a quick turn for the tragic on the first day as their dog, Sadie, refuses to step into the house and so is left outside. The next day, she’s found dead. Bad omen? You bet.

Preternatural signs quickly manifest as the mother wakes up with mysterious bruises that she thinks are signs of her growing iron deficiency, and a boarded-up cellar is found containing many antiques.

Carolyn is soon put in touch with supernatural sleuths and demonologists Ed and Lorraine Warren, (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga) who begin investigating the weird stuff going down in the house every night. The family, at this point, are terrified of their beds and have taken to sleeping together in the sala downstairs.

Scare your self silly with the rest of the review.

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